The Notorious Dr. Kalzo MD.

This past weekend I accompanied the Proud Peacock to ZAPP'S! and made a new friend named Dr. Kalzo MD. Dr. Kalzo is an epicurean whose favorite beverage is Pabst Blue Ribbon. I was drawn to Dr. Kalzo due to his amazing resemblance to the Notorious B.I.G., aka Biggie Smalls, aka Chris Wallace. R.I.P. BIGGIE! (1972-1997) I instantly proposed the theory to Peacock and ZAPP! that his likeness to Biggie is so uncanny that it cannot be ignored; clearly he is Biggie reincarnated and living in Ravenswood. The only inconsistency is that he prefers PBR to Cristal or Hennessy, but ZAPP! won't spring for those beverages. I knew Dr. Kalzo should be immortalized on my wonderful blog.

As a test, the first thing I asked Dr. Kalzo was, "Is Brooklyn in the House?" His response? An appropriately confrontational purr. Then he drained a can of PBR, crushed the empty, and tossed it over his left shoulder like a straight G.'



Below, ZAPP! strokes Dr. Kalzo's magnificent pelt. He knows how to enjoy the good life. The ladies love Dr. Kalzo MD.; he commands respect and won't hesitate to pop a cap in your ass if you've got a beef with the east-side.




For all of you doubters who didn't discover Dr. Kalzo MD I say don't hate--appreciate. How can you ignore the below resemblance? Don't shed a tear; Biggie is alive and well and thriving at ZAPPS!. Just look at the similar posturing shared by Biggie and Dr. Kalzo: both pensively face a mystical horizon as if boldly staring down the barrel of a gloch 9 millimeter, and both are diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean (mouth turned down in an angry frown).
Well. I say, turn that frown upside down, Dr. Kalzo, the truth has been heard, and I will tell the world! Everyone, pour out a 40 for your dead homies and recognize! Look at this face! I implore you to acknowledge the obvious; all Dr. Kalzo needs is an entourage like Junior Mafia and the Queen Bee to truly come correct! Further, I am not one to go around identifying the incarnates of those who have passed in the human form. That lends valuable insight to my character, indeed. Basically, I am a perfectly legitimate source. I would never want to tarnish my otherwise immaculate reputation for such an outrageous claim if I did not believe it to be possible. I can easily compile further photographic evidence, but I thought this would be enough to suffice for my humble post. I leave you with these final controversial images (yet another set of comparison pictures). You be the judge.