You see, the Minx can relate to Mariah's ability to triumphantly conquer adversities in the face of hopelessness and desperation. Mariah's comeback after divorce, rejection, addiction, anorexia, ennui, a camel toe in hot pants, grand theft auto, career failure, and a suicidal blog post are truly inspirational. The Minx can relate to Mariah's resilience, and after witnessing the juggernaut tour de force that is Mariah, what else could the Minx do but raise a celebratory glass aloft?
So while suffering withdraw symptoms from the honeyed tones of You Will Always Be My Baby (with a cameo by the Brat) the Minx needed a sweet elixir to help her body's rejection of the dirty sounds of the city.
When the Minx proposed an appletini and buttery nipple bender we casually agreed to accompany her to the bar and watch. As evidenced in the below picture, the Mayor was feeling melancholy over Sassy's absence, and she was especially vulnerable to this proposition. Despite her successful detox and colon cleanse, she thought an excursion would rid her brooding once and for all--so she agreed.
The Minx was casting off the formalities of conformity, and proclaiming it a new day. Thus, the Minx's newfound empowerment became known as the Emancipation of Minxy. As our butterfly hatched from it's chrysalis, Double D' Wicked was also present to observe the transformation. The Emancipation of Minxy. The Eminxipation. The Eminxipation Proclomation.
We went to the 14K Lounge, which is downtown on Wabash. The 14K Lounge is located in the seedy jewelry district, and this only adds to its allure. The Cricket introduced me to the 14K Lounge and I have been a fan of the place ever since. There is a flamboyant bartender there named Tom who the Minx is especially fond of. The daytime bartender is a severe and stony faced woman who I recommend avoiding.
Below, Double D' Wicked enjoys a delicious pasta...
...as the Mayor reacts to news that the Minx just ordered a wretched shot of some foul-scented beverage with an oily film the top. I feel her expression spoke for all of us. She looks like she just stepped straight out of a Diane Arbus photograph...
Perhaps a more accessible reference is in order? Many of you will recognize Edvard Munch's The Scream from the days of your college dorm wall. But what resemblance do you see between this:
And this...
Whoa! Back to normal. But--basically--that's how we reacted to the ill-fated news that shots were arriving. I guess you don't typically plan for shots (they just kind of happen) but shots are one of those things you have to be in the mood for...like Wagner's Ring Cycle.
On the other hand, Double D' Wicked tends to take bad news in stride. She continued munching her pasta with the stoicism of a pilgrim. She's no alarmist.
Look--a delicious shot of the hair of the dog that that bit me. A shot and cheese pizza--how gross is that?
Below the Minx reflects; she was telling us which celebrities she would cast in a made-for-television miniseries about her life. You can tell by the image that this exercise inspired a profound personal revelation, increasing the Minx's sense of self-awareness:
"Okay, so the actress to play me? Whoopi Goldberg. Definitely. And Robin Williams can play Dryfus. Dad will be played by Billy Crystal and mom will be played by Beau Arthur...or maybe Shirley McClain. Tom Hanks should play my ex...but I won't say which one! Tai Shan will play himself. OH! And can Penny Marshall direct it? YES!"
Below, Double D' Wicked and the Mayor discuss the Minx's casting call. We all agreed that it was appropriate for Tai Shan to play himself, but there were some disputes regarding several of the Minx's choices. For my part, I thought Courtney Love should play the Minx. Few could capture her spirit of reckless abandonment and inability to conform to the establishment like Courtney Love. That's how the Minx rolls, all leather and no lace. 
As noted, this night proved to be ill-fated for the Mayor and I. The crucial turning point is documented below. Had the Mayor stopped pickling her system when this picture was taken, I think her immune system would not have begun attacking itself the next morning, but such is life. We could all exercise a bit more restraint at some point, but you never know when until after the fact. 
Instead of refraining, we just drank more beer and ate some delicious chips. Shots and cheese pizza are gross, but chips and beer are tasty. It was easy to get derailed. 
I wasn't joking about the Minx and appletinis. At this point she was on appeltini number three (pictured below). The Minx claims that Tom makes appletinis like no other. I think he's actually slipping her absinthe. It doesn't take long for the Minx to go Toulouse-Lautrec on your ass after a few of Tom's appletinis.
Indeed, she even washed her pizza down with an appletini. How gross is that? Give her some bubbles with her apple flavored vodka bath.
Double D' Wicked is a regular little chimney! You could scrape her lungs and make nicotine chewing gum with the residue. You could call it Wicked's Nicorette. The only fallback is that after chewing one piece, your lips would pucker up and harden into the shape of a dirty winking anus. You'd have to drink everything out of a straw and live off of Pixie Stix. 
Smoking looks kind of cool, but I think the pinnacle of uncoolness while smoking is when a smoker lights the wrong end of a cigarette. Then, the smoker only succeeds in looking stupid. Below, Double D' Wicked demonstrates how to properly light the correct end of a cigarette to maximize your cool potential.
All good things must come to an end, and such was the case with our experience at the 14K Lounge, so at some point we passed out and awoke to find ourselves at Sonotech. No doubt, this was the result of a public transportation miracle. At Sonotech we drank champagne like the bourgeoisie and were given buttons advertising presidential impeachment. There was no one else in the club but us and the buttons so the bartender gave us shots of Robitussin. 
As a result of this evening, the Mayor and I were ruined. We were pickled for days, and have since been off the sauce. Conversely, the Minx and Double D' Wicked appeared as fresh as a spring rain the next day. Baffling. They even stayed out later than us.
Perhaps my favorite thing about drinking with the Minx is that she becomes fond of reminding you that she once "dated a poet who compared her toes to popcorn shrimp." Below is a plate of delectable popcorn shrimp:
And here is the Minx's foot:
Now let's make that metaphor a reality. Mmmmm...hot. Minx, you never should have let that one get away.
Below, Double D' Wicked lures the Mayor of Moneytown into her coven of denizens. How could the Mayor refuse the promise of champagne wishes and caviar dreams?
When the Mayor started with her signature threatening gestures, I knew it was time to go. We could rally no longer. Minx and Double D' Wicked stayed and partied 'til the sun came up (at which point--POOF!--they turned into a thousand bats, and flew away). 
The Mayor nearly picked a fist fight with me in the cab before curling up in the fetal position and reciting several choice Linda Blair lines from The Exorcist. She was verbally acerbic, and her behavior was no better:
I gave the cab driver her digits when we dropped her off! He was in love! How could he resist her sweet disposition? 
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Two Words: Hot Beat
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